So I’m sitting in complete darkness, all but the glow from my laptop and a candle glowing nearby. I’m baby sitting for a friend and there’s a power cut. It’s February, cold wet and windy. It was my new year’s resolution to write more. Write something. It’s taken a power cut to get me off line and motivate me to actually do what I want. I want to write, but I never do. So here I am writing. There is so much that has happened this year that I have wanted to record, not just with photos (I take a LOT), but with words. There’s too much, my head is swimming with moments to choose from. Oh God, I’m writing in such short sentences, someone commented on Donald Trump and how he speaks in short sentences, they said it was a sign of being unintelligent. So there you are, that’s what you’re are settling in for, if you have read this far and you decide to continue reading.
A dog just barked right outside, it must be the neighbour’s dog, it scared the crap out of me. My heart’s pounding. Another short sentence. Another.
Today was pretty average. I woke up (got woken up) at 5.50 by my husband saying, is that poo on the bed? The light got switched on, funny that, as the lights just came on here as I was typing. Have I got powers? The power is back on, do I scurry back to Youtube, Facebook, Netflix, Ebay, Instagram, Pinterest…… Where was I? The poo on the bed, who’s was it? Was it so bad that I would have to vacate my warm, Katie shaped dip in the mattress. My eyes stinging, I assessed the damage and sprung to the conclusion that my 5 year old son had not wiped his bottom properly. George, I said. You have to wipe your bottom properly. He looked at me, palms turned up, head slightly cocked to one side and said, I haven’t even done a poo! A likely story I thought to myself, slowly noticing more brown smears and a thick lumpy bit quite near to my pillow. We did some investigating and it seemed the poo had come from nowhere. Or whoever it was, had sufficiently wiped their bottom clean on the bedding. My daughter sleeps in our bed quite a lot, despite me taking her back to her own bed more than once every night. Seems like that Mamas and Papas solid oak bed frame, organic coconut coir mattress, goose down duvet and White Company high thread count sheets just don’t do it for her. I told George to go back to his bed since this one was soiled. He can’t, my husband said. He wet the bed. Like I said, average morning. By now it is, I’d say, 5.55am. I peeled off the sheets, sourced another duvet from the spare room. Put George’s tablet in his hand, got Charlie and Lola on Fern’s iPad. Told Marc to turn off the light and gave him a kiss goodbye, he went off to work and I committed to going back to sleep, knowing full well that if I did, getting ready for the school run would be, let’s just say… shouty.
I woke up again at 7.40ish. I sneaked into the shower hoping the kids wouldn’t notice me being up. As soon as the first droplet of lovely hot water had hit the first hair folecule, I was joined by my two year old who wanted to have a tea party with me. Later I tried to give my self a Cheryl Cole sexy bob blow dry and attempted a full face of flawless, ‘no makeup’ makeup, all in the space of ten minutes. I decided to take a risk, George, I said. Go and get started on breakfast and I’ll be down in a minute. When I did descend to the kitchen, there was milk being massaged into the breakfast bar with two hands by Fern, who was making windscreen wiper motions happily as the milk dripped onto the floor that was still covered in glitter from the previous afternoon’s creations. Somehow we were only one minute late for school today. I don’t really feel the need to write about the rest of the day. It’s pretty obvious. I cleaned up the mess, washed the bedding, ran errands and wasted more than an hour wandering around Tesco wondering what we could have for dinner that would be super easy, quick, affordable, delicious, healthy and appeal to my husband, myself and the children.
Oh by the way, it wasn’t poo, it was chocolate. Two late night squares of Lindtt 85% cocoa, I cut up and threw in with a bag of dried cherries. I ate them in bed, in the dark, with gusto and totally forgot about the whole event until I carried out a forensic examination of the soiled bedding. Phew.